Witch’s Tea Party by Amy Summer
Commissioner and Writer Information
You Can Find and Hire AmySummer to write your own sexy fem fight fiction at Fiverr!
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Megumin inspected herself one more time. She was ready. Her reflection stared back at her. She was wearing a red bikini, and a matching set of panties. Her large pointed hat drooped off one side of her head. A large staff stood at her side, though the thing was just an ornate fake, and not the real thing. A large red robe hung off her shoulders, going all the way to the floor. Her only complaint was that she didn’t have time to stuff her bra. If she had…well, she would have felt much better about this.
She turned and walked down the hall. A white light beamed from the other end, inviting her forward. She could hear roaring and cheering. The sound of hundreds or thousands of people.
“And finally, rounding out our trio, we have Megumin of the Crimson Demons!” It was a male announcer, and though his voice boomed with energy, Megumin made a face at his sorry excuse for an introduction.
She stepped through the light, and her eyes took a second to adjust. She was on one end of a large, triangular ring. All around her, atop raised walls, were lines and lines of seated viewers. Megumin idly wondered if the rest of her party was there too, though she had no chance of actually spotting them in that kind of crowd.
“Well, they came for a show….” Megumin grinned to herself. She raised one hand up into the air, even as she pulled down one end of her hat with the other.
“I am Megumin!” She screamed out. “Archwizard of the Crimson Demons, Master of Explosion Magic and the nexus of all magic!”
The crowd was silent for a time, before it went into roaring applause again.
“Err…right! That was a spirited introduction, but now we have all three folks!”
Megumin grinned to herself. It wasn’t one of her best speeches but she thought it was a decent bit of improv.
“Shut the fuck up. Who the hell do you think you are?!”
“That was fucking painful to watch. I didn’t think we’d be fighting an idiot!”
Megumin paused from her gloating to look around the arena. There was a woman each at the other two points of the triangle. On her right, was a green haired girl surely no taller than Megumin herself. That witch was wearing a set of bra and panties that looked basically identical to Megumin’s own, save that they were purple instead. She had a matching robe behind her, one that half pooled on the floor. Her pointed hat didn’t droop as much as Megumin’s did. Her name was Schierke. Megumin didn’t know too much about her, save that she was apparently some kind of apprentice? Either way, she didn’t look like much.
On her other side was another woman, the same height as Megumin. This girl was wearing a dark green bra and panties that aside from being a different color than what Megumin was wearing, looked almost identical. The woman’s hair was a dark shade of red, and that was the color of the cloak that hung behind her. Her green hat was the pointiest of the three of them, though Megumin just thought that made it look stupid. Megumin knew the woman’s name was Himiko. She also knew that the woman didn’t really…know magic at all?
“Well folks, now that we have all three of them. Let’s just get into the rules!”
There was a brief flash of light, one that made Megumin blinked. Her eyes opened and focused on something in the middle of the ring. At the very center of that triangle, was a large black…cauldron. The thing was huge, easily about as tall as Megumin herself was. Steam rose from the thing in wafting ways that reached towards the sky. Next to the cauldron was a large black lid. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what that was for.
“This is going to be very simple. This is the Witch’s Tea Party! The winner is whoever can get the other two witch’s into the cauldron and close the lid! Simple, right? The only catch is that both women have to be inside at the same time, or it doesn’t count!”
The crowd roared again, and Megumin slowly nodded to herself. She hadn’t been sure just what kind of what this would be but…well, she supposed this made sense. It did annoy her though. Did these people think this is what witch’s did? Stand around comically sized cauldrons and look creepy? Well, Megumin was an Archwizard anyway, but it still annoyed her.
“For this little contest…anything goes! Well, besides magic. That wouldn’t be very fair or fun now, would it!” The crowd roared again. Megumin knew this part beforehand, of course. Right now, the staff in her hand was just a big, pretty looking stick.
“Now…begin!” The announcer said it so casually and matter of factly that it took a second for Megumin to realize it had happened. Neither of the other two women had moved either.
Megumin let the staff drop to the ground, and then pointed one finger at each of the two women. “Come! If you think either of you two can challenge an Archwizard of the Crimson Demons, then be my guest! I’ll make you both see despair unending!” That got another roar from the crowd. Megumin wondered which of the two would make their brave proclamation first.
“You’re one annoying bitch aren’t you?” Himiko said instead.
“Are you one of those women that compensate for your small bust size with your annoyingly loud voice?” Schierke added in a second later.
Megumin paused. She heard…a lot of laughing from the crowd. That wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Did these two whores know nothing of showmanship?
Megumin’s face must have been red. “I’ll kill you both!” She screamed, before starting to run. She ran towards the cauldron, stopping just in front of it. “Come at me! If either of you is brave enough to take on this master mage, then let’s see it!”
Himiko started charging towards her first. Megumin inwardly smirked to herself. From what she knew, this “witch” was really just a frail and deluded little girl. It wouldn’t take Megumin any time at all before she put her in her place, before turning to her real opponent. Himiko approached and Megumin swung her first with all her might.
Himiko…simply took a step back, and Megumin hit nothing but air. There was a brief moment where Megumin felt very stupid. In the next, Himiko just reached out and kicked her in the stomach. Megumin gasped and staggered, her back hitting the hot cauldron behind her.
“Hot, hot!” She shrieked, taking a step forward again. She heard footsteps and turned just in time to see Schierke only a few feet away from her. The woman charged in and struck out with her fist, a grin on her face. The blow connected. Megumin gasped again, first falling and then skidding on her wizard robe as she fell to the floor.
“What…what the fuck…” There was loud cheering all around her, and her jaw felt like…well, like someone had just punched her really, really hard. Her head was spinning. She felt a thud next to her, and looked to see the other two women wrestling on the floor. Himiko had her hands around Schierke’s throat, while Schierke was busy slamming her fist into the woman’s side.
In other words, the two had completely ignored her. Megumin didn’t know whether to feel relieved or annoyed. She slowly sat back up. The crowd was cheering louder now. Megumin certainly wasn’t about to be outdone by either of these third class women.
“You’ve ignored me, Megumin, and that is a grave mistake for which you will be punished!” Neither of the two even looked at her as she said that. Megumin practically felt a vein start to pop in her forehead. Megumin roared and charged towards them. Neither of the two had the chance to look towards her as Megumin just barreled into them feet first.
Himiko yelped, taking the brunt of her charge. Megumin fell to the floor again. Himiko groaned. Megumin had managed to get the woman underneath her. She grabbed the woman’s hair and started to pull as hard as she could.
“Fuck…that hurts…bitch.”
“That’s the point!” Megumin sneered down at her. Himiko reached up and instead of getting her hair loose like Megumin expected, she just went and…poked at one of Megumin’s eyes.
“Fuck!” Megumin hissed, falling on her back, on top of Himiko’s legs. “No…fucking fair.” She muttered, clutching at her right eye. A shadow fell over her face, and she saw Schierke staring down at her. The woman raised her foot, and Megumin yelped and moved to the side just as that foot began to fall. Himiko let out a grunt of pain -it had hit her instead.
Megumin turned and started to rise. Schierke raised her foot again. Before the woman brought it down, Himiko raised her leg and kicked out. Schierke gasped as the blow hit her in the gut. She staggered back, half bent over. Megumin picked that exact time to charge in, screaming. She barrelled into the woman shoulder first.
Schierke gasped as she fell on her side with a loud thud. Megumin pulled her leg back to kick the woman, but Scheirke managed to get her shoulder in the way. Megumin pulled her leg back again, right as she staggered forward as a weight fell on top of her.
“What the fuck!” Megumin staggered forward. It was a wonder she hadn’t just fallen on her face. “Get off me bitch!” Megumin screamed, going down on one knee, then the other. An arm wrapped around her throat. Megumin raised her own hands to try and claw away at that arm, but Himiko didn’t let go.
“Sorry…but you just don’t…don’t belong here.” Himiko gasped, before starting to squeeze. Megumin started to claw at the woman more frantically than before, but she still didn’t let go. Megumin saw Schierke slowly get back on her feet in front of her, but the woman was still doubled over.
Megumin could feel her lungs start to burn. Instead of clawing at those arms, Megumin instead started to try and pull them away from her neck. She only managed to create an inch of space, but that was enough for her to take a single deep breath before they closed around her neck again.
“Stupid…bitch. Don’t…underestimate me.” She wheezed, though it sounded weak even to her own ears.
Megumin only then realized that Schierke was facing them now, and she had a very…alarming smirk on her face. “L-let go! Let go!” Megumin said, right as Schierke took three steps back, before starting to run forward.
Megumin could do nothing but watch as the whore barreled into her. She was barely on her feet to begin with, and she fell over on her back. It would have hurt anyway, but the problem was that Himiko was still clinging on to Megumin. Megumin fell on the other woman. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt as much if Himiko had more curves but…she didn’t.
Megumin grunted. To her it felt like she’d just fallen on top of some very jagged knives. The back of her hit something that left her dazed and confused. Her vision swim, and all Megumin could see was Schierke starting to rise again.
“Get…get off of me…you fat…pig!” Megumin heard those panicked words from underneath her. Just hearing them made her feel annoyed. She was not fat. She was just about to open her mouth and tell the whore as much when Schierke held her arms out and…jumped.
It wasn’t exactly the most impressive jump in the world. The short girl must have barely crossed one foot, but the problem was that she was descending…right on top of Megumin.
“God damni-”
The whore couldn’t have weighed much of anything, but whatever she weighed multiplied by gravity took Megumin’s breath away. It didn’t help that the woman somehow managed to land most of her weight on Megumin’s stomach. If she’d eaten anything, she would have thrown up. As it was, all she could do was let out a weak gasp of pain as her eyes watered.
“Ah!” She heard from underneath her. “FUCK! FUCK!”
Megumin tried to rise, but Schierke was already back on her feet. When Megumin tried to move, it just made her head start to spin. So, Megumin just lay there, trying to catch her breath.
She closed her eyes. Physical activity really wasn’t for her. If only she could use her magic, she’d send these two whores and the entire crowd up in one burst of explosion magic you could see from ten miles away. Megumin paused as she felt someone grabbing at her legs. She opened her eyes, and saw Schierke stoop down to grab her arms and pull her towards herself.
“So…so fucking…heavy.” Schierke muttered as she bent down, getting Megumin’s weight on top of her back. The woman took a deep breath as she stood. “Stupid…stupid fucking pig. What…what do you fucking eat?!”
Considering that Megumin was wide awake, and felt a decent bit better, she could have punched the bitch right then and there. Schierke took a step forward, and almost dropped down to her knees. That made Megumin want the woman to carry her to wherever she was trying to. She was not fat, damn it!
Schierke took one slow step after another, and Megumin quickly realized that the whore was taking her to the cauldron. Megumin suspected she must have had the mother of all evil looks on her face as Schierke slowly made her way there. Being on top of the woman, Megumin could see inside the cauldron from a few more steps off. It wasn’t boiling, which was a relief. Why had she thought it would be?
Schierke took one more step forward, then began to stoop down. This was doubtless the moment where the whore was about to toss her in. Megumin waited, and at the last moment…she simply slid down the woman’s back.
“What the…” Schierke muttered, starting to turn. She didn’t even manage to turn around before Megumin just stepped forward and pushed her as hard as she could. Schierke’s back hit the cauldron, and then Megumin pushed her again. This time, the woman did topple over and into the cauldron.
“Fuck! Fuck! It’s hot you bitch!” Schierke shrieked. Megumin almost felt bad for her. Almost. Right, what was she supposed to do now? She saw the lid, grabbed it and stood again. Schierke’s head poked over the cauldron, and it was a simple matter of just shoving the lid down on top of her. Megumin had to really force it down too, why couldn’t they have made this damn thing deeper?
“Just…just fucking get down!” Still, a few seconds later and she did manage to get the lid shut. There was a round of cheering, and Megumin felt more than a little proud of herself.
“Hah! I told you all! Nobody is a match for a master of magic such as myself! Fear me, Megumin! Archwizard of the Crimson Demons!” She wondered if her party was watching, and if they were proud of her.
“Err…you have to get both women in at the same time, otherwise it doesn’t err…really count.” The announcer from before said. Unlike last time, his voice sounded…embarrassed. Embarrassed that he’d had to repeat this at all. Megumin paused, and then her stomach dropped. Heat rushed up to her face, and those cheers quickly turned to jeers.
“Uh…I uh…I knew that!” She screamed out. She took the cover off again. She just had to find the other bitch and put her inside too? That was easy. As soon as she lifted the cover, Schierke burst out. Her skin was red from the heat, and her eyes were furious.
“Oh no.” Megumin muttered to herself, taking a step back. She blinked. The weight of the lid in her hand had just…disappeared. She glanced down at her empty hand, before looking behind her.
Megumin had spent her entire adventuring career going from one comically unfortunate misfortune to another. Given that, when she saw Himiko standing right behind her, lid in hand, you’d think she wouldn’t be shocked. She was still shocked.
“Hey…uh…calm down now. You don’t uh…need to do anything too hasty err…”
Himiko stared at her, raised the lid, before slamming it towards her face. Megumin yelped and raised her hands to defend herself. The lid thudded against her shoulders. The thing was made of metal, and if Himiko had any muscle to speak of, she might have broken a few bones. It still fucking hurt. Megumin grunted in pain.
“I’m going to teach you a fucki-”
The lid came again, this time slamming into her gut. Megumin felt all the air get knocked out of her as she doubled over in pain. Himiko grabbed her by the hair, and pushed. Megumin’s back hit the cauldron. The thing was painfully hot against her bare skin. Himiko pushed again, and Megumin felt herself go over the edge and into the water.
It was…hot. Painfully hot. Megumin yelped in pain as her body tried to adjust. She raised herself high. There wasn’t much room inside the cauldron, and with Schierke already inside, it was a tight fit.
“Don’t you fucking dare!” Schierke screeched, reaching over the cauldron to begin pulling herself up.
“When I get out of here I’m going to skin you!” Megumin added, starting to do the same.
Himiko just looked at them, before swiping with the lid. It was something so obvious both girls should have seen it coming. Somehow, neither did. The lid hit Schierke first, whose body collided into Megumin. They both dropped lower into the cauldron.
What light there was inside the thing soon vanished as Himiko began lowering the lid over them.
That damn lid had fucking hurt, and Megumin was more than a little dazed. She felt someone elbow her side and grunted again.
“Fucking…fucking help me you stupid…bitch.”
Megumin blinked and looked to her side. Schierke had her legs raised, pushing against the lid. Her legs were trembling, which meant she wasn’t going to last much longer. Megumin quickly raised her own legs, pushing with the other woman as hard as she could. The lid disappeared, and she heard Himiko curse. A second later, the lid clattered, a few feet away.
Megumin tried to pull herself out. An elbow hit her in the chin and she fell back. Schierke reached out over the edges of the lid and tried to rise.
“You stupid little….” Megumin growled, grabbing the woman by her stupid cape and pulling her back. Schierke grunted as she fell, and Megumin used that second to try to rise herself. Megumin just managed to get her head over the edge when she felt herself being pulled back too. She looked back and saw the whore clutching at her cape.
Well, that was simple enough. All Megumin had to do was just take the cape off! Megumin reached her free hand over to do just that, but a set of footsteps made her turn. It was Himiko, standing there. Evidently, they’d taken so long that the whore had come back with her lid.
“Oh shit.” Megumin muttered as the woman swung.
Megumin didn’t know what happened. All she heard was a dull, metallic thud and…no pain at all. She’d closed her eyes to brace for the inevitable pain but it just…never came. She opened her eyes and saw Himiko flinching back, the lid in her hand vibrating. Wait, wasn’t the whole cauldron faintly vibrating too? Did…did that dumbass miss her and hit the cauldron instead?!
“Hah! You fucking idiot!” Megumin grinned, hooking one leg over the cauldron. “How dare you try to swing at m-”
Megumin felt a hand shove her already bent head down. Her forehead met the rim of the cauldron and she sagged forward.
“Stupid bitch.” Schierke muttered behind her, pulling herself outside the thing. The woman then gave her an almost contemptuous shove, that sent Megumin back into the lid, and back into that hot water.
“What the…fuck.” Megumin blinked. If there was one benefit to this scorching hot water, it was that it was great at jogging you back to your senses. Megumin blinked and reached out for the cauldron again. She pulled her head over the edge and glanced outside.
Just as she did, she saw Schierke and Himiko. Himiko tried to smash the side of the lid into Schierke’s side. Schierke dodged. Well, that was giving it way too much credit. Himiko swung the lid, but the thing was obviously just a bit too heavy to handle comfortably. She staggered forward, the lid drooping down with her. Schierke had tried dodging the blow by…ducking. The end result was naturally that the blow that had no chance of hitting her, somehow hit her.
Schierke grunted as she fell on her back, Himiko fell forward. Himiko raised her head to look at the stunned woman. She looked…surprised, as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened either.
“That’s…now that’s real magic!” The woman exclaimed loudly, staring at the crowd.
Megumin just stared at them. This was what she was losing to? Watching this should have been funny, but all it really did was piss her off. That gave her the strength she needed to pull herself out of the cauldron and back into the arena. Himiko still hadn’t noticed her yet, the whore was too busy pandering to the crowd.
Megumin tip-toed towards her, and when she was a few feet away, she jumped on the woman’s back. Himiko folded forward, falling on top of Schierke.
“What the fuck! Get…get off of me!” The woman underneath her started to flail. Megumin stayed right there, trying to get as much of her body weight on top of the whore as she could.
“Why don’t you…why don’t you make me then?!” Megumin muttered back. This was the first time Megumin had had an advantage in this whole thing, and she was determined to keep it.
Himiko continued to flail, but the woman wasn’t exactly strong. Megumin grabbed the woman’s hat and tossed it aside.
“What are you-”
Megumin grabbed the whore’s red hair and pulled her head back.
“Ah!” The woman grunted in pain and Megumin kept pulling. “Let…let fucking…go!”
Megumin did not let go. She didn’t know what the point of this was exactly, but after the whore had tried bashing her head in with that lid, she thought this was only fair, right? Megumin really put her back into it, pulling the woman’s head back even farther. Himiko was starting to scream even louder than before. The crowd was roaring around them.
Then…Megumin felt it. Some of Himiko’s hair tore in her hand. Once that happened, more started to tear. Megumin didn’t have the chance to ease up on the whore before the woman’s red locks came away in her hands. Megumin shot back, her head hitting the ground behind her with more than enough force to stun her and make her see stars.
She groaned in pain, the sun bleary to her eyes. Himiko came into view a second later. The woman’s face was a red deep enough to match her hair. She was furious. The effect was lost somewhat by the fact that one side of her head was now mostly bald.
Megumin couldn’t help herself. When she saw that, she started to laugh.
“Hahaha! You should fucking…look at yourself!” Megumin was laughing so hard it was a little hard to breathe. She realized that the crowd was laughing with her, and that just made her laugh even more.
It should not have been possible, but Himiko’s face somehow took on an even darker shade of red. Naturally, that spurred Megumin to laugh even harder.
Himiko was trying to say something, but wherever her mouth opened, no words came out. In the end, Himiko just screamed at the top of her lungs. That made Megumin’s laughter stop. Before Megumin could even react, the woman was on top of her, pinning her to the ground. The woman’s hands were around her wrist. Megumin tried to flail, but she could barely move at all.
“Let…” Himiko slammed her head into Megumins. Megumin felt her world spin, and felt something crack as the whore pulled back. Liquid filled her throat and started running down her nose, and Megumin quickly realized that the bitch had just fractured or broken her nose.
Megumin tried to speak, but some of the blood was in her mouth. How the hell had it gotten there?! Instead of saying anything, Megumin launched her own head forward. Himiko was still reeling from her own blow, and she didn’t see Megumin’s headbutt coming. There was another thud, and Megumin’s world spun again. She regretted her choice of attack almost immediately, but she felt the weight lift off of her.
Megumin lay there on the floor, staring at the skin. She used one of her hands to weakly wipe the blood off her nose and inspected it. Just the lightest of touches hurt, so the thing must have been broken after all.
Wait…come to think of it, she could barely hear anything at all? The roaring of the crowd had been so clear before, but now it all sounded like distant thunder to her ears.
Megumin groaned weakly. She felt the footsteps more than she heard them. Megumin moved her head just enough to see Schierke standing next to her. The woman’s gaze swept from Megumin to Himiko. Megumin very much did not like the look that came over the woman’s face.
“So, you two dumb whores just beat the shit out of each other. Thank you so much for taking care of the hard part for me.” Schierke said sweetly. “You know, I was only pretending to be out of it for a while. Not that it took much to fool a couple of idiots like you.”
Megumin felt her eye twitch, but when she tried to rise, pain made her lie back down.
Schierke bent down, and Megumin felt the woman lift her foot. A second later, and Megumin was being dragged across the floor. Dragged very slowly. She tilted her head to see Himiko right next to her, being dragged along too. Megumin’s ears started to clear up and she heard…heavy breathing?
Megumin managed to raise her head enough to see Schierke stooped over. The breathing was coming from her. The woman sounded like she was dying as she heaved one slow inch at a time. Megumin twisted her head again, and sure enough, Himiko had noticed the same thing she had.
Megumin took a deep breath, and pulled her leg back. “I AM NOT FAT!”
Megumin shouted. Her leg came back easily enough to her. Himiko had apparently moved her leg at the same time. Schierke stumbled forward, but didn’t go down on her knees. Megumin tried to raise herself up, but all she could really manage was to get into a sitting position -standing up was a little too hard.
“Bitch…help me.”
Megumin turned and saw Himiko sitting up too, glaring at Schierke. Megumin didn’t like it, but she nodded. She launched herself forward, tackling one of Schierke’s legs. Himiko launched with her, tackling the woman’s other leg. Schierke fell to the floor, only barely keeping herself from smacking her face into the ground.
Megumin crawled forward. Her body pained her, but she managed to crawl over the woman’s thigh. Schierke tried to rise again, but Megumin and Himiko’s combined weight was too much for her.
“You fucking…pigs.” Schierke strained, trying to squeeze her leg out. Megumin wrapped one of her arms around it, just to keep the woman in place. When it seemed like Schierke was finally out of energy from all her straining, Megumin began crawling farther up. Schierke started to flail around wildly again, but Megumin was on her back now.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Schierke shouted.
Megumin reached for the woman’s hair. That seemed as good a place to start as any. She got the woman’s hat off, and was just about to cause her so much pain. That was exactly when a weight fell on her own back. Megumin grunted, falling face first on top of Schierke’s back. She tried to move, but she could feel Himiko scrambling on top of her.
“God…damnit bitch!” Megumin screamed. The bitch just sat on her back. Megumin tried to flail and get the woman off of her, but physical strength was the last thing she was good at. Schierke flailed underneath Megumin, and that just made it even more uncomfortable. How the hell had she ended up between these two whores anyway?
“Hah! You’re even stupider than you look.” Himiko whispered. “I can’t believe you’re this dumb. How the hell have you survived this long anyway?”
Megumin would have slapped the woman if she wasn’t currently getting crushed by her. Megumin knew that if she just kept flailing around, then she’d tire herself out and that would be that. After all, she literally just saw that happen to the woman underneath her. So, Megumin just went…still.
She stayed like that for a few seconds, as the woman on her back shifted. “Well, you fucking lost your spunk easily bitch. It’s no fun if you give up that easily!”
Megumin gritted her teeth. Was the whore baiting her? Probably not.
Then, Megumin felt her hat get removed from her head. Two hands grasped at her hair and began to pull. Megumin grunted in pain as her head pulled back. This hurt a lot more than Megumin expected. The whore just continued to pull.
“I have to…have to pay you back for that, don’t I!” Himiko screamed into her ear.
Megumin knew that it was not or never. She began to heave and flail with her whole body. The woman on top of her shifted and almost fell off her side. Megumin continued to flail around. She couldn’t see the bitch, but Himiko must have been just barely holding on.
Then, Schierke began to heave underneath her. Himiko shifted again, then Megumin felt the woman fall off of her entirely. Thankfully, the whore had let go of Megumin’s hair as she did.
Megumin fell to Schierke’s other side. She managed to roll over on her back. Fuck, but she was tired. She glanced to her side and saw both Schierke and Himiko on the ground too. Neither of the two had risen, and both were taking deep, gasping breaths.
Megumin suspected that whoever got up first would have the biggest advantage. She tried to force herself through the pain, and managed to sit upright. The other two women followed her and copied her with grunts of their own. Getting to her feet was going to be harder. Megumin leaned forward and managed to get her right foot underneath her.
When she stood, she was unsteady. Megumin almost fell over again, but managed to somehow stay upright. Schierke had managed the same thing, while Himiko had fallen down to one knee again. Megumin staggered over to Schierke. The woman watched her. Neither of them had the energy for big punches or kicks, so Megumin did the next best thing.
She slammed her open palm into the woman’s chest. Schierke let out a hiss of pain as she took a step back. Megumin had hoped the whore would fall over, but Schierke took a step forward and slapped Megumin’s right tit through. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did through the bra, but it did. Still, Megumin stayed on her feet.
“Didn’t fucking hurt.” Megumin hissed.
“Not much to hit, is there?” Schierke hissed back.
Megumin paused. What the fuck? The whore didn’t have much more in the way of breasts than she did, so why the hell had she said that?!
Megumin slapped the woman’s chest again, and this time Schierke went down on one knee. She got up quickly. Megumin braced herself for the whore’s counter slap, but it never came. Instead, Himiko staggered between them, glaring first at Megumin then at the other woman.
“Don’t fucking ignore me!” She screamed.
Megumin blinked. She shared a glance with Schierke. Then, the two of them took a step forward, and both slapped Himiko’s chest. The woman screamed and clutched at her chest, moving out from between them. Schierke took a step forward and Megumin matched her. They both stared at each other for a good five seconds, before they both reached out to slap each other at the same time.
Schierke’s hand slapped Megumin across her right breast. It was a sharp sting that made her eyes water, and made her go down on one knee. Schierke staggered back, before falling forward onto one knee too.
Megumin took two more breaths, before reaching out to slap the woman again. Schierke hadn’t noticed yet, so Megumin figured she could get in a hit for free. That was until someone barrelled right into her and Schierke both, knocking them on their sides.
“What…did I fucking tell you!” Himiko screamed.
Megumin just groaned in pain. All of these small scrapes and bruises were really starting to add up.
“Can you…shut the fuck up?!” Schierke screamed right back.
Megumin managed to force herself to sit again, but it felt like her whole body was starting to give out from under her. Himiko glared at them. Megumin saw the whore notice her sitting up first. The woman pulled her fist back and shot it out. It thudded against Megumin’s side. It didn’t…really hurt that much. Megumin threw out a fist of her own, one that caught the woman right over her forehead. Himiko barely seemed to move either.
Megumin heard shuffling from next to her and saw Schierke glaring at them. She tried getting them both with a one armed swipe, but that swipe ended at Megumin’s shoulder. It had hit with all the force of a wet noodle.
All three of them just stared at each other. The crowd was starting to…boo now? Megumin could hear the sound of jeering, even if she couldn’t hear what exactly they were saying. Megumin didn’t know why she felt embarrassed, but she did.
“God damnit!” Megumin roared, before forcing herself to her feet. She staggered forward, hunched over, but kept standing. If she was going to be humiliated here, then the least she could do was to fucking win, right? The other two women stared at each other.
“I thought I knew crazy but….” Himiko muttered, before starting to rise too.
“I won’t lose…to either of you two.” Schierke hissed.
They all made their way to their feet, but none of them looked like they’d stay long on them. Megumin glanced from one woman to another. They all took a step closer to each other, meeting in the middle. Megumin only had the energy for one thing at this point. She thrust one arm out at each of the two women’s chest, striking at them both.
Both women flinched, but neither of them fell. Himiko was the first to counter, throwing out two open palms of her own. One of them hit Megumin’s right breast, and it stung. It didn’t sting nearly as much as it had before.
Schierke was the last of them, and Megumin’s left breast pained only a little as the whore pulled her hand away. Megumin saw the realization in both of them. They were all completely and utterly exhausted. To a sane person, that might signal that you needed a break, some time to recuperate. To Megumin, it meant that the first to strike would be the one to eke out the other two.
Megumin shot out both arms. A flail of limbs met her in response as both other women seemingly had the exact same idea at the exact same time. It didn’t amount to anything but random limbs flying in every direction. Megumin felt her arms hit flesh, and felt a random fist her in the cheek, even as another hit her in the side.
Himiko moved forward, reaching out to grab at Megumin’s hair with one hand even as she grabbed at Schierke’s hair with the other. Megumin could have easily broken out of this -if she was fresh. As it was, if she did, she’d probably just fall down again. If she did that, then Megumin suspected she wouldn’t be getting back up anytime soon.
So, she leaned forward and reached out with both hands in opposite directions. With one, she grabbed onto Schierke’s hair, and with the other, she grabbed onto Himiko’s. Himiko’s was harder, seeing as that side of her head didn’t have much in the way of hair to grab. Megumin pulled.
Schierke’s hand came a second later, until all three of them were grabbing each other and pulling. Megumin could just barely raise her head enough to look around. As soon as she spotted it, she started to slowly move. The other women caught on, and soon, all three of them were slowly trudging towards the cauldron. As they did, Megumin both gave and received the occasional tug that sent jolts of pain up her scalp. That was a pain she was starting to get used to.
More than once, one of them threatened to fall over. If any of them did, the other two would two, until they were all on the floor.
“I’ll fucking win.” Himiko hissed.
“As if I’d ever lose…to the likes of you.” Schierke hissed back.
Megumin was too tired to come up with something good. “Fuck you both.” She managed to hiss out.
The cauldron hadn’t been too far away when they’d started, so it only took a few dozen steps before they were practically right next to it. Megumin counted herself lucky -the cauldron was on her side. Himiko, it seemed, was completely fucked. The cauldron was directly behind her.
Himiko seemed to realize it too when her back pressed against it. Megumin saw the woman swallow and looked around, panicked.
“What, afraid?” Schierke whispered. “Go on. Let go.”
“Yeah bitch. Prove that you’re not all talk.” Megumin added in.
Himiko did not let go. Megumin didn’t blame her. The second she did, there would be nothing stopping Megumin or Schierke from just barreling into her and sending her over the edge. Megumin realized that they were in some kind of weird stalemate she didn’t know how to break out of.
Himiko began shuffling to her right. That naturally meant that everyone else had to slowly started shuffling too. Maybe it was because they were so tired, but they’d already taken a few steps before they’d realized what was happening.
It was not Schierke with her back to the cauldron.
“Go on.” Himiko hissed. “You were asking me to do it. Why don’t you show me bitch?”
Schierke gulped. Megumin thought better than to pile onto that, seeing as how it could be her in the same situation next. No sooner had she thought that, then Schierke started to slowly move too.
Megumin was not the smartest tool in the shed, but compared to a real idiot, she was a genius. She knew that her back would be against the cauldron next. Either the two women would work together to push her in from that point, or this weird little dance would continue on forever. That meant Megumin had to take action.
That was one thing Megumin was very good at. Why, you usually had to stop her from not just instantly destroying everything with explosion magic. Megumin gulped. She took one deep breath, and let go of both women’s hair. With her newly freed hands, Megumin pulled her own hair back from the two women. Whether it be by surprise or pure luck, Megumin managed to get her hair out of their grips, and made them stumble forward at the same time.
Megumin didn’t have time to waste. She half charged and half fell forward towards Schierke. Her shoulder slammed into the woman hard, and a second later, the woman’s body tilted, before falling into the cauldron.
As Schierke fell, Megumin noticed that the whore hadn’t let go of Himiko’s hair. Megumin turned and saw Himiko stumbling towards her. With the whore off balance, Megumin grabbed her by her arm and pulled as hard as she could. Himiko stumbled more, before she slammed into the cauldron. If the cauldron had been any taller, then Himiko would have been fine. As it was, Himiko bent over the edge, before falling inside.
Megumin didn’t have long. She glanced around frantically. Perhaps Aqua really was a Goddess, because Megumin found the lid not one foot away from her. She grabbed it, frantically hurrying over and slamming it on top of the cauldron.
“I WIN!” She screamed.
A second later, the lid half-lifted and half-shot out a few feet, before slamming back down onto the cauldron. The two whores inside had apparently kicked it.
“You actually need to keep the lid shut for ten seconds.” The announcer called out. The crowd cheered.
Megumin was furious. He’d never said that. Megumin was fucking sure he’d never said that. She was screwed. There was no possible way she could keep the thing on for ten whole seconds. That was impossible.
Yet…maybe there was a way.
“Let me out you bitch!” Schierke’s dull voice cried out.
“I’ll fucking kill you!” Himiko screamed at the same time.
The two women were kicking and flailing inside, making the whole cauldron start to tip over in one direction.
An idea came to Megumin. Something that was about as inspired as it was silly. She charged into the cauldron, slamming into it with the side that was already lifting off the ground. The whole thing toppled over on its side. It was still lifting, and Megumin heaved again. The thing toppled again and…it was upside down now.
Some of the water had already spilled out, but the two whores were still inside. A small part of the lid jutted out to one side, which meant the thing wasn’t completely sealed down there. Megumin…just had to sell this.
“Hah! I, Megumin have won!” Megumin exclaimed loudly, pointing at the crowd. In the same motion, she took off her cape and hurled it at her floor -conveniently blocking that part of the lid from view.
“Now, start the count so everyone knows I won!” She screamed.
“Err…One…Two….”
Megumin grinned to herself. This really was working. The cauldron started to move again, and Megumin just walked over and sat on top of it. The two girls might have managed to get out if Megumin was the only weight they had to lift. Lifting both Megumin and the cauldron? That wasn’t happening.
Megumin just heard the count slowly tick by. She was getting more and more exhausted by the second. She realized that she could still faintly hear the two women screaming.
“I’ll fucking kill you!” Was that Schierke or was that Himiko? It was probably both of them.
“TEN! We have a winner!” The announcer finally said.
The crowd erupted again, far louder than it had the first time. Megumin felt a fresh burst of energy, which she used to climb on top of the cauldron.
“I am Megumin! Archwizard of the Crimson Demons and he who shall plunge this tournament into despair! Hear my name and fear me!”
That got another round of cheers. Suddenly, all the energy Megumin had just…up and disappeared. Megumin swayed back and forth. This was exactly how tired she felt after using her explosion magic. Just like all of those times, Megumin swayed, before falling off the cauldron and onto her back.
The whole world went dark.
Megumin was having one of the best naps of her (relatively short) life. Until that nap was very rudely interrupted.
“If you don’t wake up, that’s just giving me permission, right?”
Megumin vaguely heard those words, followed by the strangest feeling around her chest. She opened her eyes. What kind of dream was she having? The first thing she saw was Kazuma’s leering face. The second thing she saw was him groping her chest.
“AH!” Megumin both slapped his hand away and kicked him in the stomach in the same breath. She didn’t know where the strength came from, but Kazuma fell away and Megumin quickly rose, covering her chest.
“Oh. You’re all here.” She said, once she saw both Darkness and Aqua. Aqua was prodding away at the cauldron with one finger, while Darkness was helping Kazuma up.
“Hey, what was that about?!” Kazuma complained.
Megumin shook her head. “Is this any time for…for…that!” She shook her head again, before turning away.
“You did great, Megumin!” Darkness exclaimed. “Of course you did though. It wasn’t like I had any doubts at all!”
Megumin gave her a side-eyed look before grinning. “Yeah, I fucked those bitches up, didn’t I?”
Kazuma gave her a thumbs up. Megumin looked around and saw that most of the crowd either had left or were leaving.
“How long was I out?” She asked.
Kazuma shrugged. “A few minutes. We just ran right down.”
Megumin nodded. Before looking at Aqua. “What’s she doing?”
“She’s been doing that for a while now.” Kazuma answered her.
Megumin heard a gasp and looked at Darkness. Darkness was looking at the cauldron with pure horror. “Maybe…maybe she’s trying to see if they’re still alive?!”
Megumin gasped. She’d completely forgotten about them!
Kazuma leapt away from her, pointing his finger at her. “I don’t know this murderer, everyone!”
Megumin blanched, before pointing at the cauldron. “I’m sure they’re just fine inside. Maybe…maybe they’re just sleeping!” It sounded silly even to Megumin’s ears. Darkness moved over and with a single heave, turned the whole thing upside down. Aqua took a step back.
“You figure anything out Aqua?” Kazuma asked.
“Nope!” Aqua said proudly.
“Useless!”
Megumin walked over to the cauldron. She very, very hesitantly peeked inside. What horror was she about to see? She had no idea. There was…nothing inside. Nothing.
“What?” Megumin looked harder and saw that there were things inside. Two bras, and two pairs of panties. Outside from that, there was some kind of…weirdly shaped…trophy? It seemed to gleam like a trophy, but it was oddly long and round at one end.
Where…where the hell had those two gone?
Megumin reached inside for the trophy. Right as she did, she saw another pair of hands reaching for the panties. She glanced to her side and saw Kazuma right there, glancing at her.
“PERVERT!”
They both screamed. Megumin took a step back, holding her trophy. “I’m not a pervert, this is my trophy! You’re stealing their panties Kazuma?!”
“It’s not stealing if they aren’t here!” Kazuma protested. “And besides, that’s not a trophy, that’s…that’s….” He pointed, his face reddening.
Megumin glanced at her trophy. It didn’t look like much to her. Wait…had she…heard something? It was a sound so faint Megumin might have hallucinated it. She brought it up to her ears.
“You fucking bitch!” That was Schierke’s voice. “It’s all your fault!”
“If you hadn’t…gotten in my fucking way!” That was definitely Himiko.
Those words followed the sounds of…wet thuds? A lot of wet thuds. Followed by…glass breaking? Then, there was a loud thud. Megumin couldn’t even guess what that was. That sound was followed by more screaming. Then, the thuds began all over again.
Megumin didn’t understand, but she pulled the thing away from her and stared at it. What the fuck was going on inside this thing?
“What are you doing?” Kazuma asked.
Megumin stared at him, and then grinned. Then, she shook the trophy. Hard.
The three of them looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. Megumin just grinned, before bringing the thing up to her ears.
“I’m going to…throw up.” Schierke said faintly.
“Fuck….” Himiko’s voice muttered.
She was going to have so much fun with this.
The End