6 thoughts on “Pretender by Rival’s Rapture

  1. Giannis says:

    Not a common fight story. That’s for sure.
    I liked it.

    Reply
  2. earthonematt says:

    This was different and a nice change of pace to the normal sexfight story, I would love to a read a squeal in the future!

    Reply
    1. Rival's Rapture says:

      I do have both characters planned for new stories, though not with each other — at least for a bit. A bit of a redemption arc for one and a humbling for the other.

      It’ll be fun! he he

      Reply
  3. grs666 says:

    I have only recently discovered “Pretender” and I love it! Your best story in ages and they are all brilliant! Perhaps “nearly all” would be more accurate, I would have to read them all again to decide! 🙂

    I am not sure why, but Beatrix and Emily remind me very much of Judi and Giselle in Cactusjuggler’s “Draw” (http://www.literotica.com/s/draw).

    In my imagination, “Draw” is set in Brazil, with Judi as an Onyx and Giselle, as described in the story, as a blue eyed blonde (http://images2.imgbox.com/bc/ad/rsBcD9km_o.jpg). Although the third character, Reyna (http://images2.imgbox.com/50/0b/5DR1zgm0_o.jpeg) is described as Hispanic, in my mind she is a dark skinned, obsidian haired Brazilian, a Mestiço, or more specifically a Caboclo, ie a person of mixed Portuguese and native Brazilian heritage.

    Whilst “Draw” is not a sexfighting story, or even a combat story, it is still IMHO a story of the rapture of rivalry and if you are not already familiar with it then I am sure you will love it!

    Whilst I realise that it was a deliberate decision (and I believe a correct one) not to describe the immediate aftermath of Onyx vanquishing Ivory, I am deeply disappointed that we did not get to learn the details or duration of Bea’s victory celebrations.

    What I would very much like to see is a sequel to “Pretender”, where we get to visit those celebrations in detailed flashback reminiscences and also learn more about Emily’s new life, whilst Bea discovers that lurking on the 35th floor is a Reyna type character who will test her alpha mettle. Maybe Onyx vs Obsidian with Ivory as part of the prize?

    However, I cannot decide whether I would prefer to learn of Emily’s humiliation from the point of view of victor or vanquished.

    Reply
    1. Rival's Rapture says:

      Though I am glad that you are generally a fan of my work, I do try to discourage people from thinking that every story of mine must be brilliant in their own eyes. I try to write stories for lots of different fans, which means that sometimes stories just miss the mark with certain people. If some of my stories are for you, then that’s good enough. Preference makes perfection a percentage at best.

      As for this story, which you liked, I was very worried when I made the decision to have the story be one of a long built-up rivalry between women that seem equal, and then turn out not to be. Despite that concern, the general feedback I have gotten has been either very positive, or a … I liked the story, and I see why you did what you did, but I just needed them to be equal-ish for it to trigger my fetish.

      Which I knew, at least in the latter regard, would be the case when I made the call. Some people love one-sided affairs and others need rivals to be as equal as possible, if only to make the defeat and aftermath sweeter. Which is partially why I did not give Beatrix a punishment/reward session for the reader to enjoy. Had I, I think it would have taken the story’s unexpected, and in some ways defining element – the shock defeat and ending of the “battle”, and made it less than. In that, the reader would just feel as if I gave them 4/5ths of a normal, back-and-forth story, but just got lazy and didn’t want to write an actual battle.

      By having that entire scene end there, and then show that Emily had become Beatrix’s plaything, the reader, as you did, gets to imagine what actually happened in that hotel room.

      As for sequels, I already have two planned one planned with Beatrix — which can be found on the Rival’s Previews Page called The Beautiful Game. And, though I haven’t added it, or even thought it out enough to try to, I have a plan for Emily as well. Namely, to have her face off with the dominated loser of Brother’s Keeper — one of my very first short stories.

      I can see the draw of keeping Emily and Beatrix together, but I find the idea of lesser facing lesser, with the timidity they would have more interesting than keeping Emily trapped beneath Beatrix’s proverbial desk.

      Having said all that, I haven’t read the tale you reference but will try to. Given all I do on the site, and the stories I sift through to run it, it is so very difficult to read other stories; especially when I am writing my own.

      Reply

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